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So asked a friend of mine via email.

“Probably not anytime soon, ” I say to myself, but do not share with him.

Today’s #Trust30 prompt is Surprise by Ashley Ambirge I am, along with every one else participating, tasked with thinking of a time when I didn’t think I was capable of doing something, but then surprised myself. How will I surprise myself this week?

And here’s the funny part – what’s so surprising to him is who I am turning into from his perspective. Of course, surprises seem to me like a given when your role in a relationship changes, but I guess he thought he knew the whole and real me, already.

But for this moment, it doesn’t matter what surprises him. This is supposed to be about how I will surprise myself by doing something I don’t think I can do.

Ok, I don’t think I can continue tip-toeing in this relationship just to keep him comfortable. I don’t think I can just go along anymore, and it feels like I have only two choices: disengage and detach, or let fly with what I really think about what I’ve seen going on, which, no doubt, will really surprise him. Because, you know, he keeps asking me what I think.

His surprise is that I don’t just automatically back his position.

My surprise might be that there is something else I can choose between the all or nothing I feel.