When we returned home late Sunday evening, awaiting us was a voice mail from the Ex-Girlfriend that went exactly like this, in a squeaky, tear-filled voice:
Hi. I just wanted to let (Oldest Son) know that I didn’t have the baby yesterday. Tell him he doesn’t have to worry about the baby anymore – I lost it. They did a needlepoint and I guess now I’m going to move back in with my mom. Please tell him to come and get the rest of his stuff from the apartment. Thank you.
Lord, have mercy. A wave of emotions washed over me. It was one of those split seconds that feels like 30 minutes. I asked a thousand questions in that moment. Like what the hell is a “needlepoint”??!!?? All I can figure is she meant an amniocentesis, but who knows…
So, Oldest Son called her back. Instead of answering any of his questions, she started a fight. Then she said, “Just come get your stuff.”
Oldest Son came and asked if he could have my car to go get his stuff. Everything in me said not to let him, and then he says he’s going to take Second Son with him for “backup”. Second Son has the patience of Job and is big and strong enough to hold Oldest Son if required, so I said, “Ok.”
They left and I started praying.
About 45 minutes later, they returned with his stuff. Ex-Girlfriend, they reported, was still very much pregnant. All she was interested in, apparently, was getting Oldest Son back over there any kind of way. Of course, Second Son showing up, too, foiled her plan and pissed her off immensely. She tried using the kids as guilt inducers, standing with her feet in the path of the car tires so they couldn’t leave…she pulled out all the stops.
At one point, she told Oldest Son that he’d better get ready because if the baby is his, he’s going to get full custody. This from the girl who left a message earlier in the day that there was no baby anymore. The girl is seriously left of center. Gone.
She called the next day to say she’d been to the doctor and they were going to wait until this week to induce labor (if she didn’t have it before then) because they wanted her to be at least 36 weeks. That was a week ago Monday, and we haven’t heard a peep from her since.
There is a part of me that feels like this is the calm before the storm. If so, it’s a MUCH NEEDED calm, I’ll tell ya that!
Second Daughter and Little Squirt spent the weekend with us again this past weekend. It’s very entertaining to watch her and Oldest Son figure out what, exactly, their relationship is turning into. Part of me wants to scream, “STOP!!! You’re both jumping from the pan to the fire!”, but the more I observe, the smaller that part of me becomes.
I’m sure many of you reading this might conclude that neither of them have had an appropriate ‘space’ between their previous relationship and starting this one, and but for one thing, I might agree: I have lived the experience of having a relationship end well before either of our addresses changed. I’ve experienced what it’s like to mourn the death of a relationship long before you’re ready to deal with the changes ‘officially’ ending the relationship require. I’ve had to let go long before anyone left, and when you do that, you do get that required ‘space’, in a way.
What is most encouraging to me is that Oldest Son and Second Daughter have a long-standing friendship upon which they are relying heavily now as they navigate the aftermath of each of their respective previous relationships. I don’t see “oh, here’s someone who thinks I’m cute, who likes me, who rubs my bruised and battered ego the right way” as much as I see “Thank God, here’s someone who knows me, or better yet, knows who I was before life (and my choices) beat the shit out of me, who can help me find that part of me that looks forward to the future and sees good stuff there. Here’s someone who feels familiar, safe and yet new, at the same time. Here’s someone I remember trusting and telling my secrets to. Here’s someone I can be real with.”
If these two pull this off, they’ll have done something I have yet to accomplish, myself.
So, I sit here in my seat on the floor, center-court and watch with great interest as the game unfolds. That I have similar seats in two other arenas (Second Son and PDD) only adds to the fun, because those two games have been equally fast-paced and entertaining. Though I can watch multiple games simultaneously, I can only report one game at a time.
Not surprisingly, I’ve seen none of the Olympics.