We attempted to celebrate an important milestone in both a parent and a child’s life today: going to get a Driver’s Permit for Second Son. Note: Not a license – a permit.

Ironically, on the way there, our local NPR station was playing an editorial piece written by a local guy about the recent H1N1 vaccination event held at the Tulsa Fairgrounds yesterday, and how well organized, efficient and friendly all the Department of Health personnel were. He said, “If this was any indication of how government sponsored, government run health care would work, then hurry up and pass and sign me up for the public option for healthcare!”

I chuckled, hoping our business at the DMV would go the same way.

We get there, stand in the requisite line, and when it’s our turn, are told that the State ID is not a valid form of ID.

WTF?

It seems there was some law passed in Oklahoma sometime in 2007 stating that State issued IDs are considered valid ID if issued in or after November 2007. His was issued in June of 2007.

So, back home we come to dig out his birth certificate.

As an aside, I really wonder at the purpose of a birth certificate as a form of ID. There’s no picture on it, and he certainly weighs more than the 8 pounds, 13 ounces that thing says he weighs. These knotheads are going to refuse a picture ID THEY ISSUED in favor of a piece of paper that he can just say is his. Incredible…

Anyway, back we go, birth certificate in hand. This time, they want a Social Security card and some “special” form that can only be obtained from the registrar at school that proves he’s currently enrolled and that he passed the 8th grade reading test.

Nevermind that he’s WEARING HIS FUCKING SCHOOL ID AROUND HIS NECK!

Nevermind that I have the ACTUAL DOCUMENT SIGNED BY THE ADMINISTRATOR OF THE 8TH GRADE READING TEST STATING THAT HE PASSED.

No, these are not good enough. We must produce said special form that we will have to get from the school registrar – who – you guessed it – will need to see his school ID and this signed document stating he passed the test.

But, he can go ahead and take the test, if either one of us can remember his social security number. They just won’t actually ISSUE the permit until we produce this special form from the registrar.

I looked at him and asked if he knew his SSN by heart. He looked at me like I was the one who was supposed to know it. (That’s partially my own fault because I do have all manner of numbers stuck in my head, and he knows it. Just not his SSN.)

Since they’re out of school until Monday for the Thanksgiving holiday, there’ll be no third trip to the DMV today.

I wish we’d been going for a flu shot.