There. I said it.
Awareness is that critical ingredient that makes playing dumb, ignoring what’s right in front of my face, just plain impossible for me.
But, I try…oh, how I try sometimes. But awareness always kicks my ass and wins.
Now, I don’t help myself much, either, I must admit. I am constantly putting myself in situations and environments where I’ll be challenged, forced to grow. I’ve often said this feels like running headlong into a belt sander. It’s messy and painful, yes, but also very effective.
Instead of becoming a fleshy mess on the floor, I always come away shinier. Buffed to a Suzanne-glow like no other. I have several very shiny spots now, and I’m proud of them. And I have plenty more rough spots still needing attention.
This is not a life for the timid or meek, I grant you. But when
cursed blessed with vivid self awareness, there’s really no other path.
Oh sure, I could try to take the easier, softer path. But I’ve had the experience of feeling my own power – the power to choose, the power to make a difference, the power to change the direction of my life with a single decision, the power to connect with like-minded others, and oh holy shit when that happens and you feel your own power amped up by theirs?
So, when I push myself and/or my life against the belt sander on purpose, it’s really an act of self love.
Ouch on the belt sander action but hey, if it uncovers what you're looking to find then it's ok. And just think, with the belt sander, you don't need the loofah anymore!
P.S. "Sucks" is one of my favorite words. 😀
when that belt sander is smoothing out yet another rough patch just remember pain is just weakness leaving the body