I just did one of the hardest things to do as a mom: I pushed my baby out of the nest.
Oldest Son came back to live at home, yet AGAIN, this past July. When he came home, he had a job, a car, a driver’s license, and car insurance. Gradually over the months since, he lost all of those. In addition, he lost his sense of autonomy and somehow lost track of his potential. Add to the mix his volatile temper, low self-esteem and erratic, self-medicating behavior and oh, can’t you just imagine how much fun it’s been at my house?
When you attempt to help someone, but your help becomes a hindrance to their growth, you’ve got to stop ‘helping’. When it’s your kid and that happens, you’re not only not helping, you’re hurting.
I could have nagged, jumped up and down, acted like the freaked out, scared-for-her-son’s-future mom, but instead, I decided to treat him like the adult he is. I gave him 30 days to get a job or find somewhere else to live. He did neither, and yesterday I stood my ground and he packed and left.
Because I have extended myself to and invested myself in my friends, I was not alone in this. I had, still have, incredible support from – literally – all over the globe. I am loved, and from that love, I draw strength. My friends hold the vision with me that my son will find his own strength, determination and resolve, that while he may stumble and falter, eventually, he will find his way and fly.
I took a leap of faith. My job now is to keep faith. Faith in my decision. Faith in him.
It was a tough decision, I hope he'll see that it wasn't an easy decision to take. I think that you've made the right thing, somehow the best thing that we can get is a kick in the a…
Its amazing what son's can do if they HAVE to and not just WANT to. My son lost his job and I was worried he would not get another but he went out and networked with people he had worked with on job sites and got another job himself. I was so proud of his guy who gave me grief through school but then seemed to grow up when he went out to the workforce.
Keep faith in your son and he will be ok I'm sure. Best wishes Paulineh.
You did your son the biggest service possible. It's time that parents learn to step aside and let their boys become men.
I'm in your position now..
and i really confused how to solve this problem..
anyway, thank you for your post..
hope i can prepare myself for this..
Yes it takes a lot of faith to do that and I commend you for doing that. We parents most of the time think that we know what's best but hey no matter how we love our children or anyone, let us not forget that we have freedom of choice and so are they. We can always inspire others but not make decisions for them. Keep the Faith dear friends =)
I think you are right, in order to become a man, boys have to see the world. It is a good decision for your son's future.
I agree with steve gordon's comment. It is the hardest thing a mother can do but necessary.Keep faith and everything will be just fine.
We parents most of the time think that we know what's best but hey no matter how we love our children or anyone, let us not forget that we have freedom of choice and so are they. We can always inspire others but not make decisions for them.