That might sound strange to you, but it’s true. I am almost pathologically unable to sit still, be quiet, not jump in and take charge, particularly if there’s a problem to be solved. I do know how to follow, but when there’s a gaping void of leadership, I can’t ignore it. I must fill it. It’s how I’m wired. It’s in my DNA.
The irony is that I am now tasked with coming up with – get this – a leadership project!
Here is what I know right now about this:
1. I enjoy what I do for a living, but I don’t know that I LOVE it. I can do it, yes, and while doing it, I usually do not want to put pins in my eyes over it, so that’s a plus, definitely. But I’m not sure I am able to give back to the world in as big a way as I’d like.
2. It may be that what I’m looking for is simply an extension of what I do. Some other form of it, maybe.
3. I worry that I don’t have the discipline required to make a dent in the Universe in a meaningful way. You can see my track record here at this blog is nothing like consistent. That’s how I’ve observed myself for years: Not consistent, but instead showing up in fiery, spontaneous bursts of inspiration and motivation…often, but not on a schedule. Not predictable. Dare I say it aloud…”not reliable.” [Gasp!]
Well, let me stop myself right here. That’s total horseshit. I am one of, if not the most, reliable people the folks who know me know, according to them. In fact, they might say the only way I’m not reliable is when it comes to championing myself. (Huh…well, look, folks…this paragraph is me doing exactly that. So, I’m learning.)
So, if I’m wired to lead, how can I lead more consciously, more purposefully, more authentically?
This is my question to live with today.