Second Son had a friend over for the weekend (a friend who’ll likely get nicknamed Adopted Son because he’s pretty much campaigning for me to take him in and finish raising him, but that’s for another post) and Prima Donna Daughter was feeling very Prima-Donna-ish due to lack of attention and being deemed the pest, so I declared “Girl Day” so I could kill two birds with one stone.
Now, you young moms pay attention here. You’ll learn something. I promise.
Ok, I’ve got two teenage boys wanting me to take them to the mall, drop them off for a few hours and come back to get them. I’m thinkin’….uhhhh…..NO. But I’m not naive enough to believe they’d actually put up with being accompanied by PDD and I, so here’s my reply to their request, out of the earshot of PDD: “Ok, but here’s how it’s going down. I’m going to find a movie for PDD and I to go see at that mall. We will go to the movie while you two walk around the mall and attempt to meet girls. I will give you my cell phone. When she and I come out of the movie, I will call my cell phone and you two will have 45 seconds to appear in front of me. Then we will come home. Understood?” They, of course, go through the negotiations to stay longer, for us to see two movies, etc. etc., but I shut them down with, “Or we can just stay home. You choose.”
Ok, here’s where I get slick.
I call PDD into the room. I say, “Hey – how bout we have a Girl Day? Wanna go see a movie with me? Just us two girls?”
Eyeing the boys warily, “What about them? Do they have to go too? They’re not girls.”
Me: “Oh no, they’re not ALLOWED to go to the movies with us. It’s Girl Day. They can go to the mall if they want, but they have to just walk around and wait on us – they can’t see a movie.”
PDD with an evil grin, “Cool…yeah – let’s go!”
So, off we go to the mall. PDD and I see “Dan in Real Life.”
This movie could have easily been “Suzanne in Real Life.” Holy Shit. But for the fact Dan is a dad, not a mom – it was my life up there on the screen.
I submit to you the following evidence:
- No life partner? Check
- Works at home, almost all socialization happens through kids? Check
- Three kids, 3 different stages of life? Check
- One child or another hates you at all times? Check
- Needs to ‘get a life’? Check
- Has horrible ‘luck’ with respect to the opposite sex? Check
- Makes a complete boob of himself under pressure. Check
- Wants just a little piece of happiness in a relationship but life seems to conspire against him? Check
This movie, while it entertained PDD well enough, went all over and right through me. I laughed in identification, I commiserated and cried (real tears, folks) and left the theater feeling at the same time exposed and consoled. I’m definitely buying this one, and NO ONE is more amazed than me that I’m talking about a Steve Carrell movie.