Any of you out there who enjoy Bill Gaither’s music will recognize that title. What’s it got to do with this post? Well…lots for me…we’ll see if I can articulate anything intelligible for you.
I spent my growing up years singing in the children’s, then the chancel choir in church. Mom was the church organist, and also L-O-V-E-D Bill Gaither. Justifiably so, he writes GREAT Christian music. I love his music because many of his songs are songs that one “belts out” in the old-fashioned, gives you goosebumps kind of way.
“Joy Comes In The Morning” is just such a song, and is about trial and tribulation, but ‘hold on my child, joy comes in the morning…the darkest hour is just before dawn.’ It’s a song of hope, a song of faith and for me, a song of victory…because I am still holding on and the light of dawn is breaking on my horizon.
Anytime I have a small victory, or recognize “Every time you get up and get back in the race, one more small piece of you starts to fall into place” happening in my life, I get goosebumpy, and sooner or later, “Joy Comes In the Morning” starts running through my head. (It’s funny the things that you carry with you in life, eh?)
So what’s got me all goosebumpy tonight?
Just a few more small pieces of me fell into place while ago, that’s all.
I learned:
- I don’t run from confrontation any longer. I don’t stick my head in the sand and try to wait out the storm. I prefer to face it head on, stare it down and dare it to try and knock me over. I am strong enough for that now.
- I ask the questions that hang in the air and I’m not afraid of the answers. I don’t have to like the answers, but I do have to accept them when they are someone else’s truth. Even when they contradict my own. My stronger sense of self makes room for others to be different and for that to not only be ok, but be welcome.
- When you know yourself better, you can risk more. You also know where your lines are and which ones you’re willing to move and which ones you won’t step over. Quiet confidence is moving in and taking up residence, at long last.
…all that from a phone call.
Yes, Old Friend finally called. He apologized and explained his absence, citing emotional overwhelm. I accepted his apology and explained I won’t tolerate being left in the dark again.
He talked, I listened.
I talked, he listened.
I’m proud of myself. One by one, I am shedding the layers of who the world wants me to be and am becoming the real me.
I’ve often read that the purpose of every relationship we have in life is to teach us something about ourselves. I spent so long with my eyes wide shut to that. It feels good to have them open now.
Yes. I’m holding on. Joy comes in the morning.
