This week has been a trip. And, as you might have noticed, I haven’t been ‘around’. Several ‘big’ things have happened this week, but the ‘biggest’ has been the addition of a kid to our household.
To make a very long story relatively short, Second Son has a friend who over the last year has spent many a weekend at our house. His mom has been in jail for the better part of the last 6 years and his dad is nowhere to be found, so he’s been bounced around from family member to family member all that time. There’ve been many times he’d call and want to come stay the weekend just to get away from all the madness, and I’ve almost always said yes.
For me, he’s walking, talking proof that teens just really want someone to give a shit and to say ‘no’ to the wild abandon with which they think they want to live their lives. He’s had virtually no boundaries whatsoever, yet prefers to stay the weekend in a home where you have to ask permission to go out the front or back door, even if the only place you’re going is the yard. I overheard him telling someone it was like going to prison coming over here, but that he feels like part of a family and the rules aren’t ‘that bad’.
This week, he called needing a place to stay…indefinitely. Big drama with his mama (she got out of jail 12/28), and he ran away. The school he’s going to is close to my house and there’s a bus stop in my neighborhood, so after talking to his mom, I agreed to bring him home and let him stay here through the end of next week. The week after that is spring break, so we’re using this period as a trial to see how it works out for all of us involved. Second Son is ok with it, and Prima Donna Daughter is nonchalant about the whole thing.
Adopted Son has agreed to go to school everyday, go to all his classes, do all his assignments and come straight home from school each afternoon. No skipping, no getting into trouble – do what he’s supposed to do. He has further agreed that he will abide by my (to him) very restrictive rules and answer honestly any question I ask him. So far, so good.
For my part, I have no idea what I’m going to do if he keeps up his end of this bargain. I will cross that bridge when I come to it. For now, there’s one less kid in this world who thinks no one cares and there’s one more kid in school getting an education.
I may not know what I’m doing in the grand scheme of things here, but I’m doing what I can.
Bless your heart, Suzanne. It really is amazing how much of a difference one person can make just by putting love into action. Sounds like a decent kid, too.
This is a fine thing you are doing. He might ‘complain,’ but my guess is that, in his heart, he feels safe and loved and that’s what kids do when they feel secure.
You’re right. Kids do complain about those rules. Underneath it all, they realize that the rules are necessary.
May the path you’ve chosen work well for everyone involved…