A close friend called today, asked in a somber tone if I ‘had a minute’ (which should have been my clue) and proceeded to call me on the carpet for a mix of valid and invalid infractions.

Oy.

Two hours later, we were back on the same page and wavelength again, thankfully. Interestingly, I learned a few things about myself in the process.

For starters, I have finally learned how to listen without going immediately into defense mode. I can listen for what is valid about what the other person is saying.

Secondly, I have finally figured out that not everything someone else says is my shit to deal with. Sometimes, it’s theirs.

And most importantly, I can acknowledge their hurt without taking on displaced blame.

This getting older crap isn’t all bad.