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They say nature abhors a vacuum. I believe it, because I have a vacuum in my life, and it irks me, no end.

I did it to myself, though. I made a choice. I ended a relationship that had run its course, served its specific purpose. And now there’s this big, gaping hole in the middle of my life…not really, but it feels that way, right now. That’s because it’s only been a few days.

So what’s this got to do with anticipation?

Intellectually, I know that two things cannot hold the same space. So, to make room for more of what I want, I chose to say no (or, “no more”, rather) to something that wasn’t serving me any longer.

And now, the anticipation begins.

We can never know about the days to come
But we think about them anyway
And I wonder if I’m really with you now
Or just chasing after some finer day.
 
Anticipation, Anticipation
Is making me late
Is keeping me waiting
 
And I tell you how easy it is to be with you
And how right your arms feel around me.
But I rehearsed those words just late last night
When I was thinking about how right tonight might be.
 
Anticipation, Anticipation
Is making me late
Is keeping me waiting
 
And tomorrow we might not be together
I’m no prophet, I don’t know nature’s way
So I’ll try to see into your eyes right now
And stay right here, ’cause these are the good old days.
 
~ Carly Simon

She’s right – these really are the good old days.