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It appears I’m on an “old” kick, here lately. Don’t know why – just seem to be attracting “old” jokes right now. Maybe the Universe hears my knees popping when I get up and move around or my groan as Gravity grabs me and slams my ass onto Mother Earth each morning as I get out of bed.

Don’t know, but I sure have been feeling old. But feeling old and looking old are two different things. Speaking of…

Have you ever been guilty of looking at others your own age and thinking, “Surely I can’t look THAT old?!”

Well…you’ll love this one:

My name is Alice Smith and I was sitting in the waiting room for my first appointment with a new dentist. I noticed his DDS diploma, which bore his full name.

Suddenly, I remembered a tall, handsome, dark-haired boy with the same name had been in my high school class some 30-odd years ago. Could he be the same guy that I had a secret crush on way back then?

Upon seeing him, however, I quickly discarded any such thought. This balding, gray-haired man with the deeply lined face was WAY too old to have been MY classmate!

After he examined my teeth, I asked him if he had attended Morgan Park High School.

“Yes. Yes, I did. I’m a Mustang,” he gleamed with pride.

“When did you graduate?” I asked.

He answered, “In 1975…why do you ask?”

“You were in my class!” I exclaimed.

He looked at me closely.

Then that ugly,
old,
bald
wrinkled,
fat-assed,
gray-haired,
decrepit
son-of-a-bitch asked,

“What subject DID YOU TEACH???”